Life with a baby

• If you have a dog, mailman, and a baby: I guarantee you that your dog will bark while the baby is sleeping at the same mailman that has been coming the last 10 years (but only if baby is sleeping).
• When the baby wakes up before the sun and I am nursing her in the bed, I wish my husband would wake up for one little second and acknowledge that "Hey your up early-thanks," then off to sleep again.  Yeah, don't think this one is going to happen.  I'll just try not to choke him when he says, "WOW, can't believe she slept through the night."  To which I will reply, "No honey, that was you who slept through the night." 
• If your baby has a colostomy, they will soon learn to play with the bag, which of course contains an atomic stink bomb that has been declared a lethal weapon in twenty states.  And when your baby goes to grab it on the changing table and you sternly say, "No," and she replies with the cutest, biggest smile EVER, you will quickly forget the stink and let it be.  NOTE TO GOD: Please let me grow tough skin when this cute smile crosses my path again when my little one is being a stinker-amen.

I'm sure there will be more to follow one day-sorry, just had some random things to go off my mind:)